This blog was always supposed to be relentlessly positive, supporting my faith in laughter as a great healer but also positivity and seeing the best in people.
Therefore it would seem contrary of me to cite negative things about real people that might give the impression I am into bashing public figures without truly knowing much about them, because… well they are public figures.
However, I feel a need to expurgate, to vomit out, to cleanse myself of a toxic awareness…No, not a machine gun spree or infliction of pain…it’s just that I do believe that there are some individuals, messing about in the public viewpoint, who we really would be better off sending to a desert island where they can play their discs, congratulate themselves on their long since lost luxury items and decline into old age without the oxygen of public awareness…
I shall decline to use all their photos since I had a nice breakfast.
Besides – this is not a controversial list, I am betting that even the Dalai Lama would silently agree that most of these people need to vanish to a long lost Ashram
As a list it starts:
K Hopkins – no explanation needed,
Piers Morgan – smug feather duster and partly responsible for the decline of journalism in the UK.
Morrissey – Oh, please! frequent offender of masturbating to a mirror in public? Anyone unknown would have been in front of the magistrates regularly, but would have stopped wanking then.
Jeremy Clarkson – Red Top buckwheats* for him
Donald Trump – like a combination of the two above.
Toby Young – fermented giraffe dribble.
Nick Robinson – A former Young Conservative leader who thinks he IS the news.
Anne Atkins – for forcing a dangerous mass rush to switch off the Today programme
Just about every RushHannityOFuckwit involved in Fox News – for trying to hard to take humanity back to primordial slime.
Anyone who has EVER been a member of “The Bullingdon Club” (new cabinet needed)
Simon Cowell – who needs to be prevented from returning to Planet Borg and wielding his horror somewhere else in the universe.
Jim Davidson – “Who?” you may ask, I’m doing what he would have wanted by including him and he can make life worse for all the others.
The Koch brothers – love to see what they manage with no money and no personality with the above crew.
Tony Blair – for betrayal of humanity
Nigel Farage – ditto, but from a lower base.
Ted Heath – dig up his body and leave the rotting paedophile anchored on the only beach for the others to contemplate.
Paul Dacre – and all past and present Sun editors too – the tabloid chiefs who have so successfully turned a major part of the population into a satire of dumbed-down, lowest common denominator, bigots: – buckwheats* the lot of them.
Vladimir Putin – as the only non English speaker he will make it “interesting”.
I am sure there are several more that may deserve this isolation treatment – but the good news is that there are thousands that others who may have been put on the list that I feel quite OK about.
In fact in drawing up this list it has helped me realise that a majority of the people I can think of in public life are really OK people – and I am happy to see them interacting with my country…
So there’s your positive.
NB *Buckwheats refers to a fate from the film, “Things to do in Denver when you’re dead”
(But this guy needs to be drowned on the way to the island.)